


Die For You

by csichick_2



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Character Death, Dark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-02
Updated: 2011-04-02
Packaged: 2017-10-17 11:38:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/176471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csichick_2/pseuds/csichick_2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parrish completely loses himself when he finds out Lorne is dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Die For You

David sits in his quarters, staring at the dog tags in his hand. Evan's dog tags. Evan's burnt almost beyond recognition dog tags. Their relationship was a secret both because they'd only been together a few months and because it would end Evan's career if the wrong people found out. Laura knew, but she was Evan's best friend and knew him better than he knew himself. Shortly after they started dating, Evan confided in David that if Laura hadn't pushed him to make a move, it probably would have been a long time before he had worked up the courage to do so. And now, now Evan's gone.

He wasn't worried when Evan was late in returning because it happened all the time, but when Laura showed up in his lab, he just knew. If Evan had just been injured, he would have radioed him when Carson had finished fussing over him. For Laura to show up unannounced could only mean one thing – that Evan was dead. She tried to be strong when she told him what Colonel Sheppard's team had found – that the dog tags were the only way they knew it was Evan – but David knew it was just as hard on her. She wanted to keep him company, but he told her he'd be fine. She wouldn't grieve around David, thinking she needed to be strong for him. And she'd try to talk him out of what he's about to do. She'd tell him that yeah things look bleak, but they'll get better. That someday the pain will go away. But David knows better. Knows the hole inside him at losing Evan will never go away.

David knows there are several ways he can kill himself. He also knows that most of them are slow enough that someone might find him before he dies, so he decides to go with quick. It'll be messy, but it will get the job done. He takes his side arm out of the drawer he keeps it in and makes sure it's loaded before sticking the gun in his mouth.

*****

As soon as he gets off the radio with Carson, Laura heads towards David's quarters. She had felt uneasy leaving him alone, but she kept telling her that it was her paranoia talking. And now that they know it wasn't Evan's body they found, she won't have to worry about him doing anything stupid. When she hears the gunshot, she freezes in her tracks and then takes off running. She disables the locks on David's door so she can gain entry. She takes one step inside and then throws up at the sight in front of her. She kneels next to David's body and checks for a pulse, even though she knows it's pointless as he had literally blown his brains out.

She tearfully radios Carson to have him meet her there and can't help but think “how am I going to tell Evan?”

*****

Evan glances around the gate room when he finally makes it back to Atlantis. He knows David can't be obviously waiting for him, but he also knows that he could come up with an excuse to be there if anyone asks. When he sees Laura's tear stained face, he's wondering if maybe it would have been better if Radim had blown them up with Cowen.

Laura immediately throws her arms around him and starts babbling nonsense. It takes a few minutes but he finally realizes that David's grief drove him to suicide and that Laura blamed herself both for leaving him alone in the first place and not getting to him fast enough when they found out that Evan wasn't actually dead. He tries to reassure her that it's not her fault, but he can tell she doesn't believe him. Honestly, part of him does blame her. If Laura hadn't left David alone, he wouldn't have had the opportunity. But he also knows how David was when he set his mind to something – he still would have found a way.

Both Laura and Carson try to talk him out of seeing David's body, but Evan manages to out stubborn them both. Laura doesn't want to leave his side, clearly fearing that he'll do something rash and stupid. It's Carson that convinces her to give him a moment alone with David to say goodbye.

The tears can't help but fall when he sees David laying there, unmoving, with a hole where the back of his head should have been. At first he can't figure out why David would choose to go out that way, but then it clicks. Eating your gun is the quickest, most effective way to kill yourself.

As much as Evan wishes David hadn't taken his own life, he knows why he did it. Just like David couldn't live without Evan, Evan can't live without David. He glances around at what is available to him and picks up a scalpel. His death won't be as quick as David's, but he knows that as long as he severs his carotid artery, by the time Carson figures out what he's done, it will be too late to save him.


End file.
